Wish that Work is as simple as its spelling, four letters.

I am still working my way to get familiarise with this blog site. And I am on a very slow phase as it's hard to find time for me.

Yep, the post title, says it. It's not that I hate my work. But I also can't say I love it.. I love it a bit, that I am sure of. But the way heaven arranged the processes, the people, the location, the work load, each task, work time, I find it still intense or becoming more and more burning, heightened. Where stupidity would get you laughed on. Where mistakes would get you a shameful mark on your face that you would wish you have a power to teleport or to be invisible for you not be be seen and scrutinised.

Yep, I find the environment there as what I have detailed above. And a recent event made me more feel like this way.

The embarrassment. I'm not trying recall it. I don't want to. That now become a recurring feeling every time it visits my mind. It's a weakening negative history, that very moment! Though I learnt from it, surely that made me feel stupid, fool, fu**** up.

So fucked up that you didn't want anyone to know you're being crashed to bits. Or rather you didn't want to others to exactly know by telling every detail, but the feeling of sending a miracle to someone to impulsively notice you crippling inside...

That saying, or used up line: "lean on me" . was real, when you literally need someone to lean your head on their shoulder...